This last weekend, Sadie and I were in church singing. It was a week like any other. I have her stand on the chairs so she can see the worship leader and the words on the screen. She loves to sing, so normally she is belting out whatever song is being sung. Usually I put my arm around her so I can make sure she is safe, but this past week she put her sweet little arms around my neck.
We sang the first couple worship songs and then moved into the old hymn, "I Surrender All." I'm not sure the last time we have sung that song at our campus, but Sadie picked up on the chorus ever so quickly. Her sweet voice softly sung the melody and as we sung, God brought me back to a moment that took place about 7 years ago. Eric and I had been married a couple of years and we were wanting a baby, but were having difficulty conceiving and then once we would become pregnant, my body had difficulties staying pregnant. In this particular moment, I was sitting at our kitchen table in our very first home. It was early in the morning before I needed to be at work and I had my Bible open, but wasn't reading it. Instead I was resting on it and crying. I was in a moment where I was struggling with life as I thought it should be and surrendering life at the feet of Christ. It was a very raw time in my life.
As we continued to sing, I was overcome with the blessings God has given me in our children. He indeed heard my cries. I was thankful, but I was also challenged.... to keep that hand open. To not hold to tightly. To surrender my life... their lives... Eric's life to Christ daily. We are His first. He is capable of the ins and outs of each of our lives. He is trustworthy.
4 months ago